Returning to Identity

Esther Bem was a Jew during the time of the Holocaust who managed to avoid being sent to a ghetto or concentration camp by hiding in the house of a non-Jewish family.  After being liberated, Esther says, "I could not get back to my own identity."  She was so bent on not revealing her Jewish identity during the war that it became customary for her to assume an identity other than her own.  Her refugee mentality stayed for a long time after the war and she could not come to terms with herself.  This phenomenon is no doubt common with survivors from situations that required them to have fake identities.  Feeling shame for being oneself is no doubt a traumatic experience, and Esther shares her situation with a large number of Jews, giving a collective identity to individuals' problems with their sense of self.  She had become so used to her classification as a refugee that she didn't know how to behave otherwise.  

Esther Bem's interview is located on the Shoah Foundation's website, which can be accessed here: http://college.usc.edu/vhi/otv/otv.php